Crossroads
by Elaxandrius
Summary: As a child, my father had trained me in the ways to uphold the Malfoy traditions. As a teen, the traditions dictated my life…


**Crossroads**

**By: AznAngel6767**

**HP/DM ; RL/SS ; RW/HG**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plotline used. Everything else belongs to the original author of** **the **_Harry Potter _**series.**

**_A.N.: Okay, here's another shot at a HP fic. I had help from from one of my friends, the one who got me infatuated with the series itself in the first place, with a few of the scenes. And thus, I must award 'Fluffy' (she knows) with some credit to this fic as well. She was the first to read it after it's total completion as well as the only one who was there with me through each scene (well, mostly). I give her my thanks. And I hope you enjoy._****

* * *

**

"_But love…"_

"_NO! I don't want to hear it. Every time this comes up, we have decided against attending because you didn't feel like you belong. This is the fourth time we've been invited! We are going!"_

"_But…"_

"_No buts."_

"_Would you just listen to me?"_

"_Not unless the next words coming out of your mouth are the words agreeing with me."_

_A sigh was heard from behind. "Look, I don't want to go. If you do, then go. I have no problems with that. And you know it."_

"_Oh, so gracious of you to let me have your permission. "_

"_Look, I've told you once before, and I'll tell you again. I don't like going to these gatherings."_

"_Yes, because you feel as if you don't belong. Bullshit! Why can't you think of what I want for once? How can you be so damn selfish?"_

_Silence empowered the two figures as the words cut through like ice: sharp and unforgiving._

"_I didn't know you felt that way," was the soft reply nearly five minutes later._

"_I don't. I'm sorry."_

"_You always are…" Silver and green clashed before both dropped away; one in shame and one in defeat._

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_I love you. But that's not enough, is it? It never is, is it?"_

"_I…"_

"_I know you love me. At least some part of you does. But you love your family name more. Compared to that, I'm always second in your heart. And sometimes, I can't help but wonder if I'm in your heart at all. I know you love me and mean well, but I can't always be happy with being second in your eyes. I've been that way all my life, what with people expecting me to save their lives and nothing else. They think I'm some kind of toy; taking me out when needed but shoving me back into a closed closet when not. I refuse to be that way with you. _

_It's been three years, love. For three years I took the place of second best in your heart without complaint, thinking… hoping… that you'd change and put me first for once in your life. But three years is a long time to wait… and I'm done waiting. If you haven't changed by now… if you hadn't even a clue on what I was feeling by now… then there's nothing more to say or do about this subject. It's a lost cause. And I've had enough. I can't keep living like this. I can't keep being second to your family name. I can't keep wandering if you'll leave me because of a threat to your name. It's not fair to me."_

"_And you'd put me above your family name? Put me above all else?"_

"_I have! For the past three years that we've been together, I have placed you above everything else in my life. Above my best friends, above my family, above my reputation, and most of all, I've placed you before my life. You've always came first with me. I'd drop anything before I'd drop you. I have left things behind for you. I turned down professional Quidditch because I knew if I took it, it'd take me away from you more than I like. I turned down being an Auror because you said you didn't like the idea of me going out on missions… that you didn't want to spend everyday wondering if it'll be last time you see me alive. I've adapted to your every whims, accepted your every likes and dislikes. Every choice I made, I've made with you in mind. And it hurts to see that you've never even noticed."_

_The green-eyed young man turned to face his lover. Green met with silver and shimmered with unshed tears. "And you know what's worse? For the last two months… what have you been doing? Do you really think me so stupid that I wouldn't find out? Or did you think that even if I knew, I'd never do anything about it? I love you, yes, that's a fact that I cannot deny. But that doesn't mean I'd stay and let you break my heart any more than it's already been broken. Every single time I've asked you, you told me that I'm enough for you, that you love me. And every single time I've asked, you've looked me in the eyes and lied!"_

_Just then, Dobby popped in softly. "Dobby brought sir's things like sir said."_

"_Thank you, Dobby." Another soft 'pop' signified the house elf's exit._

_Grey eyes flicked over to where the suitcases were before flickering back to the young man's face. "You're leaving." It wasn't a question… just a statement._

"_Yes. The thought's been on my mind for a while now, but last week was the nail that sealed the coffin. I should've left a long time ago, but love kept me here. Now, it's the same love that's pushing me to leave. I'd have been gone last week, but I thought I'd give you the courtesy of telling you good-bye face to face. A kind of courtesy you never gave me."_

"_Where will you go?"_

_Silence was all he received as his lover turned his back and walked to the pile by the doorway. With every step his green-eyed lover took, he felt a piece of his heart break._

"_Anywhere but here," was all his lover said before disappearing, leaving nothing but his essence. An essence that would never be found in his house anymore. An essence that began to fade away to the nothingness he felt within his soul. And for the first time in a long time, Draco Malfoy shed tears._

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_You miss him."_

"_No, I do not."_

"_You love him."_

"_I loved him."_

"_You still love him and you miss him, my dear dragon. No matter how much you try to deny that fact, it's still there. You can lie to everyone else, and even yourself, but you can't lie to your heart."_

"_Mother, please. I'm a Malfoy. I don't miss him and I don't dwell on lost relationships. I've gotten over it already."_

_Narcissa Maloy gave her sole child a patient look. She had believed that her son had found his happiness with the green-eyed young man, but she neglected to take into consideration her son's stubbornness. Just like his father, thinking the family name to be more important than all else. Loving, but with a half heart; never realizing the facts until nearly the end._

_Her eyes, as blue as the clearest skies, glazed over slightly as she thought of her husband, a husband who was now serving time in Azkaban for his wrongs. She had spent her entire marriage believing she loved a man who would, and could, never love her truly, only to find herself proved wrong. On the day he had turned himself in, he had done something she never thought he'd do. He had knelt in front of her, head bowed, voice shaking with emotions, and told her 'I'm sorry. I love you.' Five words… that's all it took for him to redeem himself in her eyes. Lucius Malfoy, the proud, arrogant man that she had married, had realized that the family name and honor held no value without someone to love and share it with. In the end, Lucius Malfoy accepted the fact that he was human, with human emotions, just like everyone else. And in the end, that's what saved him from death._

_Blinking, she turned her attention back onto her child. Draco was so like his father in so many ways, but she had tried her best to instill a few of her own traits as well. But as she stared at him, she came to the sad realization that no matter how hard she tried to raise him as a human, his father's beliefs were more dominant. Much more dominant. And if he couldn't relinquish his hold on those beliefs, he'd come out empty-handed and alone. Almost as his father did._

"_Draco." She waited until she knew he gave her his full attention before continuing. "If you're over it, then why do you mope? If you stopped loving him, why do you still gave at his photo with a longing that's growing stronger? If you're over him, like you say you are, why do you still call his name every time you come home?"_

_Silence was her only reply as his eyes fell away to look out the window. Following his gaze, she smiled as her sight fell on the target: a flower bed full of lilies… planted by Harry._

"_It's not wrong to love someone, my dragon. Nor is it wrong to put that person above your family name."_

"_I can't, mother," was the quiet reply._

"_Then you'll end up with nothing but your name. Alone."_

"_But… I… he…"_

"_He loves you unconditionally, Draco. That goes without question. Anyone who cared to look could tell you that. And you love him. Isn't that enough?"_

"_He said he left everything for me… put me above everybody else in his life…"_

"_Yes. I know. And I agree. Every choice he made since you both became a couple, he had you in mind. He's even taken over cooking breakfast for you so you'd get to eat in bed. He's changed most of his lifestyle so that he could adapt to yours. Although he's hated the limelight, in the end, he suffered through parties and soirées because you wanted to go. No matter how much he went against it in the beginning, in the end, you've nearly always gotten your way. Listen to me, my son. Let go of your hold on the family name. It's doing fine on its own. Your father made that mistake once; don't follow in his footsteps. Love your partner fully… or let him go completely and let him be happy… let him find someone who can love him with a whole heart. _

"_Can you do that? Can you let him go? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life waking up in an empty bed, wondering the 'what ifs' and the 'what could've beens'? Is it worth the price of losing the one you love?"_

_Standing to walk over to her son, she was unsurprised to see tears trailing down his porcelain face. Eyes, so like his father's, shimmered as anguish glared at her like an open wound. Wrapping her arms around his frame, ignoring the slight trembling flowing throughout his body, she combed elegant fingers through his hair. An action she did when he was much younger._

"_I don't want to let him go… I can't…. I don't want to lose him… I need him, mother. It hurts, mom, it hurts. I want him back."_

_She held him as he sobbed his grief out into her gown. For a long while, she just held him quietly, rocking back and forth, lending as much comfort as she could for she knew he had an uphill battle before him if he wanted his lover back. When the tears finally subsided, she hooked a finger under his chin and brought his eyes up to lock with hers._

"_Can you let him go?"_

_A shake of blond head._

"_Do you love him?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Completely?"_

"…_yes."_

"_Do you want him back?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then go get him back, my dragon. Tell him you love him wholly. Tell him that you'll put him first and foremost. Tell him everything your heart feels for him." A kiss was placed upon his brow before she stood and walked towards the door. Before walking out, however, she turned halfway._

"_And Draco?" Eyes met. "Love him forever. Don't let him go again. If he's worth it to you, you'll fight for him, to keep him… even if it's him you're fighting."_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_Harry?"_

_Haunted green eyes, once brilliantly shining, turned towards the voice. Hermione, his mind supplied. His best friend… one of them. Now married to Ron, the other best friend. Blinking sluggishly, he gave her a weak smile. Turning back to the window, he heard cloth moving as she made her way into the room._

"_Harry, dinner's ready."_

"_Not hungry."_

"_You need to eat."_

"_Not hungry."_

"_You've said that the last two times, Harry. You haven't eaten much since lunch yesterday."_

"_I'm not hungry, Hermione. Just not hungry."_

_A sigh was heard, but from whom, he couldn't tell. Over a month ago, he had arrived on his friends' doorstep without notice and they had bundled him in, no questions asked. Over a month ago, they had held him gently as he sobbed out his grief. They had then tucked him in bed where he slept three-quarters of the day away. Then, when he woke, they had sat him down at the kitchen table, shoved food at him, and watched with a hawk's eye as he ate._

_Over a week ago, they had allowed him to scream out his anger… anger at the world, at Draco, and at himself. He was angry at the world for using him, at Draco for taking him for granted, and at himself for loving Draco too much to forget._

_With his emotions all steamed out, he now felt nothing but emptiness. His heart broken, his soul weary, and tears all dried out, he went day to day on autopilot. All energy had apparently drained out of him when he left the manor that day so many months ago. Remus had dropped by occasionally to visit him, but Harry knew the truth. He wasn't blind, despite what they all thought… they were concerned… worried about him as they witnessed his down spiral into depression._

_Remus, his official godfather three years after Sirius's death, had sat down with him and spoke of the old days. Though he missed Sirius dearly, he was still happy that Remus had agreed to take up the godfather position in his life. The last two direct links to James, Lily and Sirius needed to stick together after all._

_However, despite his heartache, everytime he caught sight of the band on his godfather's finger, a smile could not be hidden. Remus deserved to be happy after all the years he spent alone. And, in guilty relief, Harry couldn't help but be comforted that Remus had finally moved on from his pain at losing Sirius and found another to love and be loved back. The pain of the loss would never be gone, but at least for Remus, it had begun to dim a little._

_Another thing that had amazed Harry beyond anything was Severus Snape. With the exception of his two friends and Remus, Severus had become his stability point. The few times he had showed up without Remus in tow had proved to be the most productive meetings in the midst of everything and everyone. As odd and unbelievable as it would sound, his encounters with Severus were the ones that began his healing process._

_Severus. Harry smiled fondly at the thought. Who would've imagined him married to Remus Lupin, the last of the true Marauders? The ceremony had been beautiful and very heartwarming. Witnessing the joining of two lone souls, both cursed by the power of the dark. And with this joining, a huge weight had been taken off of Harry's shoulders: Remus and Severus's ties to the eternal darkness. With this joining, Severus kept Remus's wolf at bay and Remus prevented Severus from being pulled completely into the shadows._

"_Harry?"_

_Blinking, the person in question turned towards the new voice. "Ron."_

"_You went off on us again, mate."_

"_Sorry. Didn't mean to."_

_Ron clapped a hand on his shoulder and grinned. "No problem. Dinner's served though, so come on before they eat it all. I'm hungry. And you're eating or I'm going to call Snape and tell him…"_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_Mr. Malfoy, sir?"_

"_Yes, Tilly?"_

"_Professor Snape is arrived, sir. Tilly bring Professor Snape here, sir?"_

"_Yes, Tilly. Thank you," a gentle 'pop' signaled the house elf's exit._

_Minutes later, silver-grey eyes blinked up from the ledger as the door opened to allow entrance to the visitor. As the person sat, grey met with endless onyx and a small smile formed on the manor's master's lips. Reclining backwards, the two stared as the silence dragged on._

"_How are you, Severus?"_

"_Very well, thank you. How about you?"_

_Severus's eyes followed his every movement and expression, missing nothing. Silver dimmed and smile fell, but Severus knew the lie before he even heard it._

"_Well. I'm doing well."_

"_Is that so, Draco?" Onyx eyes narrowed and grey glared._

"_Of course, Severus. Why wouldn't I be doing well?"_

"_It might have something to do with your mate who's left the manor over a month ago."_

"_Mate? What mate? I've no mate." Draco scoffed and Severus snorted at the bold-faced lie._

"_The mate you've had for the past three years, Draco. The young man you claimed to love and who loves you. The young man who, currently, is missing you. The man who defied hell and high waters – meaning the ministry, the public, his friends and family – to be with you. And the young man who is nursing a broken heart at his best friends' house." At Draco's blank look, a look the Potions Master knew was a fake, he felt his patience slip a little more. "Harry, Draco. Remember him? The savior of the Wizarding world; the boy-who-lived; the defeater of Voldemort? You boyfriend for three years?"_

"_He's gone. It's over with. Why wouldn't I be okay?"_

_Draco's eyes fell away as Severus's continued to burn holes into him. Lies. They were all lies. He knew it and he knew Severus knew it too._

"_Well, congratulations, Draco. I'm glad you're doing well…"_

_The blond Slytherin braced himself for the on- slaughter he knew was coming. And the older Slytherin didn't disappoint._

"…_because your partner…my apologies, **ex**-partner, has been destroying himself. A month, Draco. For a month, he had locked himself within the confines of his rooms, refusing both food and companionship. For a month, he starved himself, wallowing in his heartbreak. And in that month, his health had deteriorated to a point where it nearly failed him._

"_I'm really glad to hear that you've been doing well because he hasn't."_

_Silence empowered the two inhabitants of the manor as one tried to rein in his anger and the other, his emotions. The tension was so thick between the two that it threatened to choke anyone who dared to enter._

"_So, is he doing better now?" was the quiet question that finally broke through the deafening silence._

_Severus smiled inwardly, knowing that Draco would never resist the temptation when it came down to Harry Potter. Like a drug, both his former pupils were addicted to each other, and like a moth drawn to a flame, the call could never be opposed._

"_He's doing better nowadays. Eating again as well as accepting company. He's healing as much as one can hope at the moment. However, there are the days when he'd fall into a relapse, but those are minimal, too. The shattered heart is another tale, though, of course."_

_Draco looked at his long-time mentor for a while. Ever since his bonding and acceptance of the werewolf as his partner, he'd softened up quite a bit. He'd also developed a surprisingly soft spot for Harry. If it wouldn't be a risk on his life, Draco may even point out the spark of fondness Severus has in his eyes when observing the boy hero._

"_Go to him, Draco. As much as you'd like to deny it, you need him as much as he needs you. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. You've had the hate. Don't you think it's time to accept the love, too?"_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_I'm sorry, Draco…" was the first statement out of Hermione Granger-Weasley's mouth when she opened the door and caught sight of him. And with that simple, innocent, three-worded sentence, Draco felt the earth fade away from under his feet. A million images floated across his mind and not one of them held any positive promise._

"_What happened?"_

"_Why don't you come in first, Draco? You may want to sit down first before you hear the news."_

_Not desiring to waste more time, he stepped through the threshold and took a seat in Harry's favorite wing-backed chair… a chair that still, surprisingly, smelt like his emerald-eyed lover. Looking at Hermione, his gut told him that whatever news she had for him, he would not like. Not at all._

"_What happened, Hermione?"_

_He watched as she swallowed with visible difficulty and as tears sprung into her eyes. His hands moistened over in cold sweat as the silence dragged on. Just as Draco opened his mouth to ask again, the young woman raised her head and began… or at least tried to._

"_Well, you see, Harry… he… and we… you…" A sob broke her stutters off and Draco had no choice but to look towards the silent figure in the room for answers as the young woman across from him tried to compose herself unsuccessfully._

"_Ron?"_

_The man turned and Draco choked back a gasp. The redhead looked as if he had just been let out of Azkaban prison. Dark bags shadowed his eyes, cheekbone pronounced due to hollowed-in cheeks, unshaven, and his eyes… Merlin, his eyes seemed lost._

"_Where's Harry, Ron?"_

_The slight flicker of pure anguish at the name terrified Draco even more. What the hell had happened and why was no one telling him anything?_

"_He's at St. Mungo's. Been there for the last two weeks or so," was the desolate reply in the end._

"_St. Mungo's? Why?"_

_Ron turned away from him once more, blatantly refusing to answer. It was Hermione who broke the news in the end._

"_Harry was caught in a crossfire two and a half weeks ago. We tried to contact you when we found out, but you weren't allowing outside contact. The hex that had hit him had sent him… sent him c… crashing in to the wall of a b…b…building. Normally, he would've been able to dodge it, but it… he apparently didn't sense it on time. He wasn't himself… not complete, I guess, for the past two months. But we didn't think anything like… like this would happen. He hit his head and it earned him a mild concussion._

"_We were worried when he didn't wake up at the infirmary, but four hours later, he regained consciousness and appeared to be fine. However, the next morning, he… he…wouldn't wake up no matter what and none of the potions we gave him helped. Severus had been brewing all kinds of potions that he thought might heal him, but… well, nothing's worked. And magic doesn't seem to affect him either. The healers suspect that he may have fallen into a… a coma. And they don't know when he'll wake up."_

"…_or if he'll ever," was Ron's bitter statement._

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_Draco."_

"…"

"_Draco!"_

_Silver eyes blinked up at the voice and a slight smile stretched across his lips when he recognized the person._

"_Severus." Eyes slid over slightly to the right. "Remus."_

"_Draco. How are you?"_

"_I'm fine, Sev."_

"_I doubt that statement. Have you eaten yet?"_

"_I'm not hungry. I'll eat when I'm hungry so don't worry."_

_Onyx and molten fire exchanged a glace before one knelt in front of the young man._

"_Draco, look at me." Silver slid up. "You need to eat. Even if you're not hungry, you still need to eat something."_

"_I don't want to."_

_Remus sighed. "You have to, Draco. Harry needs you strong and healthy. Eat. If not for us, then for him."_

"_I don't want food. I just want him…" _

_Severus knelt next to his lover and took one pale hand in his. "I know you want him; we all want him to wake up. But that doesn't mean you should stop eating. How do you think he'd feel if he were to see you like this? Do you think he'd like seeing like this? Fawning over him and neglecting yourself?"_

"…_no…"_

"_Then eat something, Draco. Let him awake to a healthy Draco Malfoy when he opens his eyes again."_

_Both adult watched as emotions warred with each other. Breaths held, they both looked on as one emotion one over the other. As the ex-Slytherin nodded reluctantly, they shared another look, one that said 'mission accomplished and won.'_

"_Why won't he wake up?"_

_Remus placed gentle hands on the slim shoulders, offering as much comfort as he could that would be accepted. "We don't know, Draco. We don't know."_

"_He's defeated a Dark Lord that's considered to be the worst and he survived his muggle family. Why can't he just win this fight." Gray eyes slid closed as a heavy sigh was extracted. "It's been so long."_

"_That it has, Draco. But he'll wake up soon." Severus's smooth voice glided over the young man._

"_Hopefully…"_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

It's been five months since the day he walked out of my life. Five months since he took all his belongings and moved out of the manor. Five months since I've last gazed into the endless depth of his gorgeous emerald eyes, felt his gentle caresses, experienced his soft kisses that always left me wanting more… and five months since I had last heard his voice telling me that he loved me.

It may have been only five months since our separation, but it might as well have been a lifetime of torture. Like a fool, I had believed I could do without him. Like an idiot, I believed I could escape three years unscathed. Like a Malfoy, I thought I didn't need him, that I didn't need love. And now, like a human man, I know that without him, there is no life.

As a child, my father had trained me in the ways to uphold the Malfoy traditions. As a teen, the traditions dictated my life… I had to make my father proud. I'll admit, I was spoiled rotten; what I wanted, I got at the snap of a finger. And at the time, he was the only thing I wanted but couldn't have.

Yet, as I sit here, next to his bed, watching his unmoving form like I've been doing for the last two months, I realize something. If it hadn't been for what we both went through in the past, we wouldn't be here… and I wouldn't have experienced the happiness I felt in those three years. In light of that, I wouldn't change a thing. Well, that's not entirely true. I'd change one thing, and one thing only.

I wouldn't have taken him for granted. I would've told him I loved him everyday and made sure he knew it. Made sure he knew, without a doubt, that I loved him completely, still do. I would've spoiled him the way he deserved to be spoiled, did things to make him happy. But mostly, I would've stopped him from leaving that day. Who knows, maybe if I had, neither of us would be here in this hospital. Maybe if I had, I could've had a lifetime of happiness instead of the chance of just those three years.

It's funny, you know? It was my family name and pride that broke us apart, and as indirectly as it may seem, it was also my family name and pride that landed him here. And now, I'd give everything up, leave everything behind, just to have him back, alive, awake and healthy. Merlin, I'd even rather have him hating me, so long as he was alive to do so.

…the other day, the healers said that it's not looking good. Please wake up, Harry. Please wake up soon.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

As it currently stands, it's been seven months since the separation and five since the accident that placed one young man's life at risk and another's dreams of a future in danger of tumbling down. Five entire months of a body laid unmoving, tears never stopping, heart breaking by the day. Five months of hoping against hope only to be disappointed when nothing happened. And five months of praying for a second chance at a love previously taken for granted and for a miracle.

Seven months since the beginning of all this, we find our lovers standing at a crossroad once again. Met with the devastating choice of letting go and holding on, the ex-Slytherin saw his life slipping away with each passing day that his lover didn't awake. Friends and family came and went with condolences as though he was gone already.

And on this snowy day, the day of Christmas Eve, a gently whispered conversation was carried off by the wind.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I know."_

"…_I love you."_

"_I know that too."_

**End**

* * *

**A.N.: Spelling errors are my own fault. No editors means no perfection. LoL. Reviews are very welcomed. They make me feel all nice and warm inside... (coughs)**


End file.
